Thinking Out Loud

In just a few more minutes, it will be the second month of the year already. Yay! Time is flying by so fast, don’t you think? Imagine, the year is already 31 days old. To think that I waited for Christmas to come for a long time. Ha-ha-ha

Let’s all welcome February with open arms. Stay positive. If there had been problems this January, leave it there and start anew this coming month.

Eat. Live. Love. Pray.

I apologize to the few people who happen to read my blog. I haven’t been updating much. The only reason I can give you is that I don’t have much to say.

But now, I have so much to tell you. I have already scheduled some posts to be published within the week. So I am hoping you will still come visit, leave a comment, or simply wait for whatever it is I have to say

Happy blogging!

LOL

There are days when I feel sick even when there’s no outward sign that I am. I think my immune system is down due to my schedule of work and sleep. You see, I got used to sleep for 3-4 hours and then waking up to work. I would take a nap in the afternoon and would sleep really early like around 9PM so I can get up at midnight, or even 30 minutes before. I then go back to sleep around 5 or 6 in the morning for my 4 hours sleep. It’s not good for my body, I know. But it’s the way I work.

Vitamins and minerals. Plus healthy food. That’s what I need!

Find time to be by yourself. It’s good for your soul.
When it’s quiet and there’s no distraction, you can hear yourself clearly. You can hear Him loudly.
You can distinguish more between right or wrong.
And you can focus.

I need to find time to be by myself soon. I have things to think about, plan for. I have so many things in my mind that I need to sort out, prioritize. And I know I can do all these if I am alone.

I feel so darn bad that I flared up again. I always do this when I am tired. I get cranky. I get testy. And then I flare up! It’s a bad habit of mine that I am trying for so many months now to put under control. For the most part, I feel like I’ve gained the upper hand in this temper problem of mine. But there are times when I could not keep it under control and would find myself about to explode. If I can still calm myself down, I do it. Last night, though, was tough for me.

I yanked her off the floor because she’s being boorish and a brat again. I made snide comments about his egging us to be angry over her bratty behavior. Instead of the night ending good for all of us, we all went to bed feeling dejected and hurt over what happened. And I feel terrible over the comments I said. I feel so bad about it that my head’s pounding until now.

We could all use an inch more of patience, I tell you. And I do hope that one of these days, we will be on that place where we could stop ourselves when we feel on the brink of a meltdown.

Concerned love ones are worried the train might leave and I will be left growing old alone. They have been expressing interest in my love life ever since I graduated in college. Most of my cousins got married in their 20s. I am already 31 and still do not have a prospect for a lifetime partner.

In my defense, I have actively sought out “the one” for me. But then nobody surfaced, I told myself not to worry for I know there’s someone out there for me. If none, then so be it. Nothing’s wrong with growing old as a single woman, right?

So let the train pass by if it will. I can always catch the next one, anyway

I find myself brooding most of the time. Thinking of what the future holds for me. I remember something I got out of the app from Facebook…

On this day, God wants you to know… that doubt is the rust of life. Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now.

To be quite honest about it, I do doubt myself most times. I just made so many mistakes in the past that I feel this fear of making them again. Who wants mistakes, anyway? I don’t. I’m sure you don’t want one as well. No matter what they say about our past mistakes making us stronger, I’d rather be mildly strong if it meant no mistakes.

I am craving for this pizza. A crepe-inspired pizza complete with Nutella, bananas, nuts and a pizza bun. Yum! Here’s hoping I can get my hands on one this coming weekend…

Happy Friday!

I feel like I’m drifting. Like there’s so many rocks I have left unturned for the last few years. I keep repeating things and I am so afraid to leave my comfort zone. I have so many plans but I’ve yet to start acting on any of it.

Three years ago, I had more than enough funds to set things in motion for me and my family. I could have already paid some unsettled debts that are minimal in amount (for me during that time). I could have set aside funds for some legal documents that we need in terms of properties for me and my siblings. I could have saved enough money for a downpayment for a house and lot and a car. I had so much money that time that we went on shopping sprees every other day.

I wasted time and money on unnecessary things. And I am regretting it big time!

Of course, I want to stay as positive as I can. I might be going back to the corporate world next year. And by then, I would know what to do already. But I still want some of my goals for this year done.

I also want a clear look of where I am heading to…

There are times when I feel like my life is on a cliff. Barely on land, almost hanging. There are just too many worries. The future is blurry. I have faith in Him. Although there are times when it waivers, the trust, the hope, the belief. But it won’t go away. It will always be there.

I am just hoping that a harness will be thrown my way to make everything more secure.

Ms. Avery left each one of you ten million dollars … unfortunately, her estate is only worth seven dollars and sixteen cents.

LOL